The Myth of Normal 166

inclination. Somehow the system’s values and expectations get under the skin, to the point where we confuse them with ourselves. As Fromm put it, often people’s behavior is not a matter of conscious decision to follow the social pattern, but of “wanting to act as they have to act.”[4] In this way a culture creates members who will serve its purposes. It is instructive to juxtapose reality with fiction. In Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, individuals are “so conditioned that they practically can’t help behaving as they ought to behave.”[5] Thus, what is considered normal and natural are established not by what is good for people, but by what is expected of them, which traits and attitudes serve the maintenance of the culture. These are then enshrined as “human nature,” while deviations from them are seen as abnormal. For the most part, absent an awakening—often of the rude variety—of the authenticity drive, people will develop and behave in ways that seem to confirm the dominant ideas. What are some of the features of the social character imbued in our culture? The First “Character” Trait: Separation from Self I have said that acquired personality traits such as excessive identification with socially imposed duty, role, and responsibility at the expense of one’s own needs can jeopardize health. This and other conditioned characteristics are the result of a child’s developmental needs being denied, of Nature being thwarted. Culture cements them through reinforcement and reward, encouraging people to perform tasks even if chronically stressful, under circumstances they might naturally want to avoid. My own workaholism as a physician earned me much respect, gratitude, remuneration, and status in the world, even as it undermined my mental health and my family’s emotional balance. And why was I a workaholic? Because, stemming from my early experiences, I needed to be needed, wanted, and admired as a substitute for love. I never consciously decided to be driven that way, and yet it “worked” all too well for me in the social and professional realms.